8 automatic responses of a mother that harm the child's psyche

Sometimes parents can harm a child's psyche, even though they themselves do not suspect it.

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Psychologists note that sometimes the mother answers the child's questions "automatically". Such automatic responses to a child's behavior or words can be destructive to his psyche.

In this material, we tell you how not to talk to children when they have problems.

An order or command

Quite often, we may not notice how we give orders to the child - "Stop", "Shut up", "Put it away", "Go to bed", "Eat". But we forget that when a child does not listen or does not behave as usual, he simply wants to be heard about some of his problems. And we, as always, have enough of our own problems.

Threats and warnings

When a child is worried about something, threats have a destructive effect on him - they make him tougher and a conflict is created. An example of a parental threat looks like this: "If you do this, then I..." Remember that at such moments the child feels "thrown into trouble" and this ends with aggression towards the parents.

Criticism and accusations

Quite often, parents blame the child for everything that happened. For example, if a child accidentally falls while playing with other children. Sometimes mothers try to hide the problem as quickly as possible and say: "It's my fault! How can you be so inattentive?" or "How many times have I told you - don't hang out with these kids!". This is an incredibly harmful parenting technique for the child's psyche!

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Praise

Although it sounds strange, praise can be very dangerous. Psychologists advise instead of the phrases "You are well done", "How smart you are!" or "You are strong" speaks about himself and his feelings. For example, "I was so pleased when you...", "I am so pleased, I am proud of you." The point is that if the child gets used to hearing "You are a good man", he will constantly demand praise. In adult life, children who are often praised by their parents have problems in communication, because they are always waiting for pleasant words to be addressed to them.

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Tips

Examples of incorrect advice - "And you go and tell the teacher", "I always did this in such cases...". Why? Because the child must come to a certain decision himself. Do not give quick advice without properly understanding the situation. The child must formulate his own decision.

Arguments

"I said that it would be so." A typical toxic phrase of a mother who, with the help of impeccable logic, tries to prove to the child that he did something stupid. This, at the very least, destroys his self-esteem and makes him insecure. With their arguments, parents only once again remind the child about his failures.

Ridicule

A sense of humor is definitely a good thing. But not in situations when the child needs support and understanding, and he is ridiculed. Stop reacting to children's tantrums with a teaser! And stop using teasing to teach children to order. Such phrases as "Wipe the snot - hang to the navel" are absolutely unacceptable in communication with a child. Family is not a barracks!

Insincere sympathy

Many parents make this mistake. Usually, we try to solve the problem as quickly as possible, so as not to be distracted from our work. But sincere sympathy is the willingness to listen to the child for a long time. Willingness to completely detach from their affairs and, if necessary, change plans.