How to develop a child harmoniously: simple rules by age – from 0 to 17 years old

Taking care of children's psychological development is just as important as their physical development. And if we give our children vitamins to prevent the flu and take them out into the fresh air more often, what can we do to avoid problems with psychological health?

Mental well-being depends on many factors. One of the most important of them is communication with parents. If a child grows up in an environment of love, understanding and care, this helps to maintain his psychological health at a high level. Here are some tips to follow when communicating with a child for his psychological well-being: a complete list from 0 to 17 years old.

What can you do for the harmonious development of your child?

Age 0 to 1 year

At this age, the child reaches the first level of attachment - he communicates with his parents through his senses.

What has to be done:

• Play “look-alike” with your child. You’ve probably noticed how your toddler looks at you with interest and looks you in the eye inquisitively. Don’t look away — make eye contact in return.
• Smile at each other. As you know, a sincere smile is a sign of a good mood. Let the baby immerse himself in an atmosphere of positivity.
• Play peek-a-boo.
• Feed while holding in your arms or on your lap.
• Let the baby try to feed mom or dad.
• To roll on the neck.
• To carry and cradle in your arms.
• EmbracePhysical contact with the mother is a very important factor for the healthy development of the baby. Its deficiency can lead to tactile starvation in the child.
• Give a massage. This could be the well-known “Rails-rails, sleepers-sleepers”, which combines a game, a fairy tale and massage.
• Repeat the babbling after the baby.
• Sleep together.
• Lay the baby on mom or dad's stomach during daytime sleep.
• Sing children's songs.
• Dance with the whole family.
• Together, look at each other in the mirror. “Look, here’s your nose, I have one too, here it is!”
• Read poems clearly with different intonations.
• Look at pictures in books together or just look at the street while walking. Name the objects you see and show them to your child.

Source: shutterstock

Age 1 to 3 years

Starting at the age of two, a child diligently repeats everything from those they love, trying in every way to be like them: copying behavior, imitating intonations, preferring what their parents like.

In addition to all of the above, at this age you can:

• Do household chores together. It's best to involve your child in shopping trips. You can start by making a shopping list and having your child draw pictures to go with it. Let your child feel like they're doing something important and helping their mom!
• After leaving the store, on the way home, hand your child a small bag with something light and solemnly entrust the baby to carry it home himself, like mom and dad.
• Play “Mom/Dad at Work” with your child. Let your little one feel even closer to you, becoming even more like their beloved parents.
• Let your child dress in your clothes.
• Bake sweets together. Your toddler will happily help you mix the ingredients and cut out the cookies according to the shapes. And, most importantly, he will feel like he is doing the same thing as mom.
• Ask for help with sorting the laundry. Let your toddler help you load the clothes into the washing machine and then take them out after washing. And, of course, entrust your toddler with the most responsible part – pressing the start button on the washing machine.
• Let your child help his dad wash the car. He'll do something useful and get splashed with water!
• Try planting a small garden together on your windowsill. You can plant various edible herbs like dill, basil, or parsley, and then add them to salads.
• Do some drawing together. For example, you can draw with finger paints.
• Come up with "just our secret, we won't tell anyone."
• The most fun childhood pastime is to build a "house" out of pillows, bedspreads, blankets, chairs, and other improvised materials.
• Put your toddler in the driver's seat. Let them turn the steering wheel just like mom or dad, press the buttons, and pull the levers and handles.
• Make a gift or card with your child for your father, grandmother, or family friends. Creating crafts together is always interesting and fun, it teaches teamwork and develops creative abilities.

Source: instagram@babylookstudio

Age 3 to 5 years

At three years old, the child begins to express attachment through displays of belonging and loyalty. Now the child feels that the beloved mother should be his only, and begins to be jealous of her.

In addition to all the previous advice, at this age you should:

• Spend time face-to-face. You can go to a cafe, a park, a movie, go fishing, or take a walk. The main thing is that you are alone with your child.
• Engage in your hobby together with your child. Then she will feel that you are paying special attention to her.
• If possible, take your child with you to your workplace.
• Allow your child to be angry, sad, or scared. Being able to express their emotions appropriately, whether it's anger, fear, or resentment, is an extremely important skill to start developing at an early age.
• Go hunting together for pine cones, autumn leaves, chestnuts, and acorns.
• Do active sports together. Ride bikes, rollerblades or skates, run races.
• Organize a home theater.
• Have a karaoke night with your family. Instead of a microphone, you can use improvised tools: a comb or a whisk for a blender, as an option.
• Decorate your house for the holiday with the whole family. Inflate and hang balloons, bright garlands, draw and hang posters on the walls, etc.
• Blow soap bubbles, and let your baby “hunt” for them and pop them.
• Dance with your child to their favorite songs.
• Play various tactile games more often.

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Age 4 years

At four years old, a child seeks confirmation of their parents' love for them. They need to feel important and significant to you.

At this age it is useful to:

• Play hide-and-seek. It is important for parents, when they are looking for their child, to call him in every possible way and lament that they cannot find him: “Well, where did my beloved baby go? How will I be without him now?”
• Involve your child in preparing dinner and setting the table.
• Let your son or daughter have their own household responsibilities. Get your child a personal rag and broom for cleaning, give him a few houseplants that he will be responsible for, etc.
• Laugh at your child's jokes, but be sure to laugh sincerely. The child will easily sense falsehood.
• Ask your child about their friends and hobbies, and support them in every way they can in what they like.

Source: Pixabay

Age 5 years

At five years old, children are trying their best to show all their love. 

What you can do in response:

• Write letters with your child and draw postcards for friends or relatives, and then send them by mail. It is better to agree on this in advance with those you are writing to and ask them to send something in return.
• Take the time to tell your child about your family. Go through a family photo album together, look at the photos. Let your child try to find mom and dad in the pictures. Show him a photo of him when he was still very small, tell him how you were waiting and happy about his birth.

Age 5 to 7 years

At this age, your child wants to know everything about you, and for you to know everything about them. They want to be as close to their parents as possible.

For a child to feel trusted, you need to:

• Talk to him openly about how you feel. “I got angry today when…”, “I was sad because…”, “I was so happy then.” You need to be very specific about your emotions and explain the nature of their origin.
• You should also accept your child's feelings. "I can see that you're angry," "I understand that you're upset," etc. Help him understand what he's feeling, and be patient — dealing with emotions isn't always easy for adults, and even more so for children.
• Practice active listening. It is important not only to listen, but also to hear.
• Be sure to discuss conflicts. Even if the quarrel has subsided on its own, it is still important to dot all the i's.

Age 7 to 11 years

We do everything the child agrees to from the above, as well as:

• Take an interest in your child's hobbies. Offer to help him, ask him about the details of his favorite activity.
• Invite your child to prepare some simple “chef’s signature dish” on their own.
• Read books together and discuss the plot.
• Hugs remain a very important way to show love.
• Watch cartoons or children's films together. Have whole movie nights with popcorn, dim lights, and pillows on the floor.

Source: Instagram @akterka_klever

Age 11 to 17 years

• Even if your teenager has become more “prickly” and is no longer so willing to show love tactilely, try to hug him more often.
• Be sure to practice active listening. At this age, if your child feels like you're not interested in what they're saying, their trust in you will definitely decrease.
• Stay on your child's side under all circumstances during external conflicts.
• Spend time together. Go to a cafe, to the movies, or go for walks together.
• Ask for help in areas your child is interested in. For example, ask them to help you learn how to use a computer.
• Be sure to consult with your teenager about any family issues before making decisions.
• Write notes to your child. For example, when you go to work or run errands, leave a note wishing them a good day.
• Be interested in your child's opinion on everything, and be sure to take it into account.
• Ask your teen to express their position, explain their opinion. This will help teach them to form their own opinion, defend it, and look for evidence.

By following at least half of the tips listed, you can help your child develop harmoniously and support his psychological health. The main thing is to remember that feeling your love is extremely important for a child!