Why attachment is the most important thing parents need to work on

There is a lot of information in numerous books about babies about what a newborn looks like, what reflexes he has and how often he poops. All this is certainly very important, but not the most important thing. The main thing is the relationship that is established between you and your child from the moment he is born. And the basis of your correct and constructive relationship is attachment. The quality of attachment depends on whether you will easily cope with the role of a parent and whether the baby will become a child who is easy to raise.

Source: shutterstock

While in the mother's womb, the baby is connected to her by the umbilical cord. It is thanks to this that the child receives everything necessary for healthy, full-fledged development. After childbirth, this connection is not interrupted, but is transformed into an invisible, but still real and important one. After all, no one doubts the statement that a baby needs a mother. He is born absolutely helpless and if left alone, he will die of hunger and cold.

How did such a gentle creature survive for millennia?

Wise nature has endowed the mother and child pair with a strange thread - attachment. Thanks to it, the newborn tries with all his might to be near the adult who ensures his survival and comfort. He sucks the breast, demands to be carried in his arms, and protests when left alone.

Source: shutterstock

The baby does not yet know that his mother will definitely return, and every time she leaves the room, he is plunged into the horror of the feeling "I was left alone! I will die!" His body instantly begins to produce adrenaline, which causes a sharp increase in blood pressure, and even leads to depletion of the adrenal medulla.

After the adrenaline rush, the body begins to produce another hormone – noradrenaline, which reduces the load. Excitement is inevitably followed by inhibition, the person feels exhausted, relaxed, unable to act. At this moment, he can fully develop. The baby, having cried in the crib alone, falls asleep soundly. But every time the baby does not see and does not feel his mother, he does not become capricious, he suffers.

If a baby under 3 months asks for a breast and doesn't get it right away, he or she may feel like, "They're not feeding me! I'm definitely going to starve!" That's why timely feedback is so important!

Source: Shutterstock

Be with me, mom!

1. A child's early attachment forms a basic trust in the world. This is the foundation for the development of a healthy psyche.
2. Children with strong attachment grow up pleasant to communicate with and self-confident. A child who was afraid to spoil with attention, was not carried in his arms, was not given a breast on demand, was left alone in bed, feels stress, grows nervous, disobedient, hysterical and unsure of himself and the world. He feels the need for a person he can rely on, and often finds him outside the home. The father no longer has the most important lever of influence on him and is not the main authority. After all, in communicating with his child, an adult draws strength and inspiration.
3. What happens when attachment weakens? For example, a mother decided to teach her baby to sleep in a crib on her own and left him alone, crying, in the room. The baby received the first lesson in life of distrust: “When I feel bad, they won’t help me, I have to cope on my own.” It is very difficult to reach such a closed heart when the child grows up. Relationships should be a priority. They are a source of strength, joy, spiritual and intellectual growth for the mother and the baby.